


The Hardest Part Of This (Ambrollins Fan-fiction)

by PunkRock13



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment, ambrollins - Fandom
Genre: Cancer, Dark, Depression, M/M, Maybe Death I Haven't Decided Yet, Sad, WWE - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8405536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkRock13/pseuds/PunkRock13
Summary: Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia is the most common type of leukemia in children, but it can also effect adults. In this type of leukemia, immature lymphoid cells grow rapidly in the blood. It affects over 6,000 people per year in the U.S.Seth was one of those people.(Request: Seth ends up being diagnosed with cancer and thinks he's all alone in it. Then Dean and Roman eventually come and help him. Ambrollins.)





	1. The Hardest Part Of This - Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my new fan-fiction. It was requested by 'Emma'. This fan-fiction deals with some really dark and upsetting themes, so if you are triggered or upset really easily then I suggest you don't read this. This first chapter is just an intro, so it's a bit short but the other chapters will be longer. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia is the most common type of leukemia in children, but it can also effect adults. In this type of leukemia, immature lymphoid cells grow rapidly in the blood. It affects over 6,000 people per year in the U.S.

Seth was one of those people.

He had been diagnosed with this viscous disease exactly two weeks and three days ago. Today was a Tuesday. 

Having just gotten back to his hotel room after a long night of taping SmackDown, Seth was more than tired. He was exhausted. Fatigued. It was a feeling he had gotten used to over the past few months. He may have been diagnosed only two weeks ago, but he had been suffering for months without knowing.

The problem started with an ongoing fever and regular night sweats, which Seth thought nothing of at the time. It was the start of October when the symptoms began, so Seth just thought that he had caught a bad cold.

The symptoms however, continued. He guessed that the pain and aches in his bones and joints were from all the wrestling he did. It was something that he had struggled with before he'd had cancer, so once again he thought nothing of it. The pain intensified after a while, eventually spreading to his stomach, which was always in some sort of discomfort.

Seth was covered head to toe in bruises. The slightest bump caused him to bruise dramatically. His back was mostly purple and yellow now from all the falls he had taken in the ring. He had lost his appetite as well, causing him to lose a lot of weight.

The list of symptoms went on and on, but Seth tried his best to ignore them. He would think about that when he was getting his treatment, but right now he was hospital free and he had to focus on his job.

Hunter was the only person in the company who knew about Seth's condition and Seth was hoping to keep it that way. Nobody else needed to know about this. It was his own personal secret. It was him against the world. He didn't need anyone's pity.

The disease had quite obviously affected his work in the ring. He was slower, weaker and became breathless a lot quicker than usual. This didn't go unnoticed. Many of his opponents had picked up on it and asked him if he was okay. Seth simply smiled, said he was fine and walked away.

He really was alone in this situation. Sure, Hunter had told him to call if he had any problems, but Seth didn't see him as someone he wanted around. He wasn't the caring type. Seth had lost his brothers six months ago and there was no way that they were coming back, not after what he had done to them. 

He had no friends. He tried his best to ignore everyone that he worked with. He didn't want to form attachments, especially now with that fact that he could die within a year.

Seth got into bed, too tired to remove his clothes or have a shower on this cold December night. He would do that in the morning. If he was still alive. That was the thought that came to his head every night before he fell asleep.

What if this night is my last?


	2. Restless heart syndrome - Part 2

Seth woke up the next day and got ready for his first session of treatment. He had googled how it worked, when he first heard the bad news and was surprised to see that there were many different ways of receiving chemotherapy. Seth's doctor however, narrowed down the treatment to one thing. A drip (Intravenous infusion) into the bloodstream through a vein.

It sounded terrible and Seth did not want to go through with it at all, but Hunter told him he had to get the treatment otherwise he would be fired. Seth knew he would die eventually, so it didn't matter if he lost his job or not but he really wanted to spend what could quite easily be his last few months of life, doing what he loved doing.

Seth exited the hotel room and caught a cab to the hospital. The room that he would be staying in was filled with other sick people, and looked rather intimidating. The doctor told him to take a seat and asked him if he had anyone to drive him home later. He lied and said yes. He didn't need anyone to escort him home. He was fine on his own.

As he took a good look around the room, Seth noticed an overwhelming, similar look on everyone's faces. They all looked like they had given up. That was something Seth had been experiencing lately and he knew it would only get worse. One man in particular looked as if he had already died. 

A shiver ran down Seth's spine as he went into deep thoughts about death. What would it feel like to die? What happens after you die? His thoughts were interupted by the dreadful words coming from the doctor's mouth.

"Mr Rollins, are you ready to begin your treatment?" The doctor asked, with a needle in his hand.

"Y-yes." Seth replied, looking down at the floor.

"Now once we begin, it's best that we don't stop so if there's anything you need to do, I suggest you do it now. The treatment can take up to two hours."

"No, I'm good thanks. Let's just get it over with." Seth said, with no emotion in his voice. He just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep forever. The smell of the hospital was making him feel a little nauseous.

"Alright then." The doctor smiled.

The doctor inserted the needled, which was attached to a drip, into Seth's arm and into his vein. For the first few minutes, Seth could feel the medication entering his body, but then his arm went slightly numb and he forgot about the weird feeling. He started to get dizzy after the first hour had passed, but didn't want to disturb the doctor who was helping out another patient.

It was clear to Seth that he had passed out, once he awoke from his slumber to see the doctor stood in front of him.

"Alright Mr Rollins, you managed to sleep through the last hour so hopefully that made it easier for you." The doctor smiled. "You're free to discharge yourself and head home. Make sure to take these tablets." The doctor handed him a few packs of medication. "Twice every day. They'll help to keep your white blood cell levels high."

"Okay, thank you." Seth took the medication and put it in his pocket.

"No problem, are you sure you've got someone to take you home?"

"Yes, they said they'd wait at the entrance." Seth smiled, convincingly.

"Well, you take care then. I'll see you next week."

"Yeah, see you." Seth said awkwardly, rushing out of the room.

Seth made it all the way to the entrance of the hospital and called for another cab. He was starting to feel a little sick. Nothing serious, just a stomachache and headache. Once he reached the hotel, he caught the lift up to his floor.

He was walking down the hallway to his room, when he started to feel really dizzy. His body had started to feel like jelly and every step he took felt clumsy. He was a few steps away from his room, when he fell against the wall and slip down to the floor. He was too tired to walk any further. His body wouldn't even allow him to take four more steps to reach his room.

Seth could sense that someone was watching him, but he was too exhausted to lift his head and look. His breathing was heavy and he was starting to sweat, but he tried his best to stay calm. He just needed to rest for a few minutes so he could get his energy back.

"Hey, um. Are you okay?" Someone asked, from a distance. The voice sounded familiar, but Seth's brain was too fuzzy to work out who it belonged to.

"Mmm." Seth moaned, unable to make any other form of communication in his current condition.

He heard footsteps coming towards him, so he guessed that the person was going to walk past him. Instead, the person stopped in front of him and crouched down.

"You don't look so good." The person said, placing his hand on Seth's arm. It was then that Seth worked up the strength to lift his head. He was shocked at who was sat in front of him. Dean. "Where's your room, I can help you get there if you want?"

Why was Dean being so nice to him? They were enemies. Dean hated his guts. His first thought when he was told he had cancer was 'Dean's gonna throw a party when he hears about this.'

"Seth? Can you hear me?" Dean said a little louder, with a hint of concern.

Seth nodded weakly, then moved his head to the direction of his room.

"Is your room the first one on my left?" Dean asked, not understanding why Seth wouldn't talk to him.

Seth nodded again, the dizziness was starting to clear up a bit. His body was also starting to feel less like jelly and more like a normal body.

"Alright, I'll take you to your room." Dean said, putting Seth's arm around his shoulders and pulling him to the door that Seth had gestured to. "Do you have the keys?"

"P-poc-" Seth was too weak to continue talking, but Dean understood what he was trying to say.

Dean searched Seth's hoodie pockets and found the keys easily. He opened the door and helped Seth lay on the bed.

"You gonna be alright now?" Dean asked, putting the keys on the bedside table. Seth nodded, as he enjoyed the comfort of the hotel bed. "Okay, see you later."

Dean left the room, closing the door on his way out. He was so confused as to what had just happened. Why was Seth so close to passing out? Why couldn't he speak or move? He thought about it for a long time, but eventually narrowed it down to Seth being sleep deprived. That guy never sleeps. Maybe the tiredness had finally caught up with him.

Dean still couldn't help but worry. Seth was acting really strange. Whether he was tired or not, why would Seth let Dean help him? Something wasn't adding up.

Seth would be at work tomorrow, so maybe Dean could talk to him about it then. They were set to have a match together so they had to talk at some point during the day.

Dean cleared his mind and tried to get some sleep. On the other side of the hotel, Seth was fast asleep, still in the position that Dean left him in.


	3. It's the start of the end - Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait, I'm really busy at the moment with studying and working. I will probably update this fanfic once a week, but I am going to try and make the chapters longer. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Dean woke up in the middle of the night and was unable to get back to sleep. His mind was racing through different scenarios of what could be wrong with Seth. Had he caught a bug, or was it something more serious than that?

A few hours passed and the sun began to rise over the dark, night sky. Day light was on its way and Dean could not be more ready for the morning to finally arrive. He hated staying in bed when he couldn't sleep, the morning gave him a reason to get up.

Dean's mind was still thinking about one thing. Seth. What was wrong with him? Why was he acting so strange? Why did Dean care? In all honesty, Dean didn't know why he cared about Seth's health so much. But he did.

Dean made the most of being awake so early by going to the gym, having a much needed and long shower and going to the 'all you can eat' breakfast buffet. Dean didn't really eat much though, the thoughts about Seth were making him feel a bit nauseous.

It wasn't everyday that your ex best friend collapsed in the corridor. It was everyday however, that Dean had work (apart from Thursdays), but today was Monday so Dean needed to get to the arena and prepare for his match. Which coincidentally, was against Seth.

As he made his way down the hotel corridor he decided to knock on Seth's door to see if he was okay. He didn't answer so Dean guessed that he was already on his way to the arena. Workaholic.

The arena was packed with wrestlers and crew when Dean got there, but he didn't want to see any of them. He only wanted to see one person in particular and that person was nowhere to be found.

Dean knew that he would see Seth at some point before and after their match so he wasn't too bothered about finding him. On his way to the locker room, he decided to make a quick detour to the bathroom. A man's gotta do his business. The bathroom was empty when Dean arrived so he did what he had to do and was about to leave, when someone stormed through the door.

The person, which Dean could identify as Seth, ran straight past him and into one of the stalls where he began to vomit violently, with his head in the toilet. Dean's worry for Seth's condition worsened as he witnessed the scene before him. First he collapses and now he's puking his guts out, what's going on?

Once Seth had finished, he flushed the chain and reluctantly stood up, wiping some left over vomit from his mouth. When he saw Dean stood behind him, with a concerned look on his face, he jumped.

"Are you alright, man?" Dean asked, trying not to make the situation too awkward.

"Uh, yeah. Just something I ate." Seth replied, his voice sound weak and tired.

"Are you gonna be good for our match tonight?" Dean asked, wondering if Seth really did have food poisoning. Was it possible for a person to collapse from food poisoning? Maybe that happened because of dehydration and lack of salts. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Seth replied, feeling extremely awkward in his current situation. The two men never talked, apart from on promos, and even then it was usually rude and aggressive comments, not kind and caring questions. "I should get going." Seth sighed, wanted so badly to eat a mint.

"Yeah, of course. See you later." 

Seth left the room and rushed to catering, where there was a vending machine that had some mint gum. He got the gum and chewed on it for the rest of the afternoon, hating the after taste of vomit. This was something he had gotten used to over the past month, but that didn't change his hate for the side effect.

Seth managed to avoid everyone backstage, after his encounter with Dean, so that he didn't have to make any excuses as to why he looked so bad. An hour before him match however, someone in the locker room, not anyone that Seth knew of, commented on the bruise that was appearing on his neck and collar bone. 

Seth hadn't noticed the bruise at first, but once he saw it on his body he realized how big it really was. Plus it was easy to see, which made him feel self-conscious.

On his way to the ring, a few crew members mentioned the bruise to him as well. He just ignored them and tried to forget about the fact that he was dying. The attention that the bruise brought however, made it hard to forget about the horrible illness that he had.

He made his way out to the ring and pulled off his evil smirk, as always, making sure to act as normal as possible so no one would notice that something was terribly wrong. The match started with a punch to the side of the head from Ambrose, that would definitely leave a bruise to keep the other one company.

Around half way into the match, Dean grabbed a handful of Seth's hair and pulled it to try and get him on the ground. Dean's eyes went wide when the handful of hair he was holding fell out of Seth's head so easily. He didn't even have to pull it that much. Dean's worry for Seth instantly became worse. Food poisoning doesn't make your hair fall out.

After the match Dean was gonna talk to Seth and he wasn't going to leave the arena until he got answers.


	4. Feeling like I'm losing it again - Part 4

"Seth, Seth!" Dean shouted, rushing to catch up with the younger man running in front of him, a handful of his hair still held tightly by Dean. 

Seth was doing all he could to get his weak body away from Dean. He knew the man would ask questions and Seth didn't know if he had the strength to lie anymore, that's why it was important for him to keep running. No one could know.

His dreams of getting away however, were shortly crushed when Dean caught up to him. It wasn't hard now a days with Seth's condition. Dean grabbed the other's arm and pulled him into a near by, empty, locker room.

"Seth, what's going on man? Why's your hair falling out like that?" Dean asked, slightly out of breath from running, but still holding onto the handful of hair tightly.

"I don't know man, maybe it's just stress. You don't need to worry about me." Seth sighed, struggling to continue with his act of being 'fine.'

"Look, I know you're lying. Massive clumps of hair don't just fall out like that. Plus you collapsed in the hotel yesterday. I'm not trying to dig into your life, I just wanna know what's wrong so I can help." Dean said, pleadingly.

Seth didn't know what to say. He couldn't lie anymore, he was too tired. He tried his best to keep his emotions in, but within seconds he was a sobbing mess in front of Dean.

"I-I." Seth sniffed, trying to calm himself down so that he could say the next, poisonous words. "I have cancer." 

The atmosphere of the room became tense and silent. Dean didn't know how to react to such a bold line. This could mean the end of Seth's life. Dean was simply just watching the younger man waste away.

Seth's cries of pain brought Dean's mind back into reality. He held the weak man in a loving embrace as he tried to make sense of the situation and comfort Seth at the same time. It was unlike any moment he had ever experienced before.

"C'mon, let's go back to the hotel and we can talk about this some more." Dean said soothingly, wishing that this was all a big joke and that Seth was his normal, smirking self.

"O-okay." Seth hiccuped, enjoying being held. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel lonely.

The two men made it back to Dean's hotel room and sat themselves on the sofa, enjoying a nice mug of coffee each. Dean still wasn't sure about how to approach the situation, and stayed silent hoping that Seth would start the conversation. Luckily, he did.

"Acute lymphocytic leukemia. That's what I have." Seth started, taking a deep breath before continuing. "There's cells growing rapidly in my blood and I have to get chemo. I had my first session just before you saw me collapse. I know that I'm getting the medication I need and the cancer isn't terminal, but I can just feel it inside me that I-I'm gonna die."

"Hey, don't say stuff like that. You'll be fine, you can beat this. And if you want I'll be with you every step of the way. I know we don't see eye to eye anymore, but we were once brother's and I can't stand to watch a former brother of mine go through so much pain. Please, let me help you." Dean said, tears beginning to form.

"You don't need to help me, I'm fine on my own." Seth argued, not wanting to get close to anyone.

"Well, at least let me take you home after your chemo sessions. I don't want you collapsing every time you get that done." Dean negotiated.

"Alright fine, but you can't tell anyone about this. I don't want people knowing. You and Hunter are the only ones that know." Seth sighed.

"Okay, I respect that but what about Roman?" Dean asked, knowing that his brother would want to help at a time like this.

"Maybe in a week or so, but just wait until I'm ready. I don't know if I want him to know about it yet."

"Alright, I'm fine with that."

The two men spent the rest of the night together catching up on everything that had happened during their time apart. Seth spoke about his condition in more detail and told Dean when the next chemo session was. It wasn't looking bright for Seth, but at least he had someone to help him through it now.


	5. Me, my thoughts and I - Part 5

When Seth awoke the next morning, he felt rather nauseous. It was something he had gotten used to over the past month or so, but that didn't make it enjoyable in the slightest. He made his way to the bathroom and sat down by the toilet, waiting for the inevitable vomit to appear. It didn't take long for the vile substance to make it's way up Seth's throat.

The unsettling feeling in his stomach slowly calmed down and he was left feeling a lot better. His throat however, was very sore from the amount of acidic liquid it had dealt with recently. Seth casually took his medication and started to get ready for the day. Luckily, he didn't have a match tonight. He just had to film two interviews and then deliver a promo on SmackDown.

Seth was worried to come into contact with Dean. They had got along well last night, but there was a slight nagging feeling in the back of Seth's head telling him that the older man was just pitying him. He didn't want pity.

An aching pain began to form in Seth's head, and he knew that painkillers would do nothing to help it. He was gonna be stuck with this headache all day. The thought of that made him miserable. If living with cancer wasn't already enough to drag out his day, he now had to deal with this splitting pain which was pounding at his temples.

Seth slowly made his way out of the hotel room, and caught a taxi to the arena. He arrived early hoping a change of scenery would make him feel better. It didn't. Instead, he felt more drained out and judged by everyone he passed on the way to the locker room.

His appearance didn't help. His pale, sweating face and dark, circled eyes were definitely attracting strange looks from his peers. Seth had never been so pale before, he had always been rather tanned so to turn up to the arena looking like this, shocked quite a few people. The stares didn't help to strengthen Seth's confidence either.

Seth headed to catering and filled his plate with a few pieces of bread and mango. He was hoping that the 'meal' wouldn't affect his stomach too much. He managed to eat half of what was on his plate, before he started to feel sick. The small grumble in his stomach only intensified the pain in his head.

He chucked the rest of his food away and decided to make a visit to the bathroom. The bathroom had become his sanctuary at the arena. Not many people used it, so Seth was able to sit on the cool, tiled floor in peace. The cold temperature of the room helped to keep his body heat down and the quietness of the room reduced the pain of his headache. It was very relaxing for Seth.

Eventually however, Seth had to leave. He just about had enough time to apply some make up, onto his face to make him look more tan, before he headed to the interview area. The interviews were annoying and a waste of his time, but it had to be done. Once it was over, Seth retreated back to the bathroom.

When he arrived, he was shocked to see that Dean was in the room washing his hands.

"Oh, hey man, how're feeling?" Dean asked, grabbing a paper towel and drying his hands.

"I'm managing." Seth sighed. "Got a killer headache though."

"Oh that sucks. Is there anything I can do to help?" Dean asked, generally looking concerned.

"Nah, I'm good." Seth replied, sitting down on his sacred floor.

"Aren't you cold sitting in here?" Dean mentioned, after standing in silence for five minutes and watching Seth.

"No, it feels nice on my skin." Seth replied, soothingly.

"Why? Do you feel hot?" Dean asked, confused as to why Seth was so happy to sit in a rather chilly bathroom.

"Yeah, I'm burning up. It's all a part of the process." Seth said, casually talking about the life threatening illness that he had.

"Oh right." Dean replied, realizing what Seth meant. "Well, if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna go and get ready for my match. Do you wanna come with me or are you okay in here?"

"I'm just gonna stay in here for a bit and cool off before my promo."

"Alright, see you lather then." Dean sighed, hating seeing Seth in so much pain and distress.

"Yeah, see ya." Seth mumbled back, closing his eyes and relaxing once again.

__________

Seth was back in his hotel room, lying on the king sized bed. His promo went relatively well and the crowd reacted according to plan. He hadn't seen Dean since their small conversation in the bathroom, but something inside of Seth, probably the loneliness, wished he would have bumped into the older man once the show had finished.

Any company was good company now a days. Seth contemplated calling Dean and asking him to visit, but he was too worried that he would sound clingy. That would give Dean an even bigger reason to pity him.

Seth remembered that he had his second session of chemotherapy on the upcoming Thursday, only one day and two nights away. Although he didn't want anyone seeing him go through such a horrible treatment, he also didn't want to be lonely through out it all. He decided to message Dean and ask if he wanted to come with him to the session.

Dean replied instantly and said that he was free to go. They then texted for another hour before they said their goodbyes and went to bed. Knowing that Dean was coming to the hospital with him made him feel a lot less nervous. 

It was nice to finally have someone by his side.


	6. I'll watch you in your sleep - Part 6

Arriving at work the next morning, Dean had one intention. Talk to Hunter. Considering the fact that Hunter was his boss, the two men didn't get along very well. However, with recent events taking place, Seth's health, it was about time they buried the hatchet.

Hunter was sitting at his desk when Dean entered the room. He gave him a confused look, but quickly calmed down once Dean took a seat.

"So Dean, what brings you here?" Hunter asked, trying to sound polite.

"We need to talk about Seth." Dean sighed, trying his best to have a civilized conversation.

"Do you know about...?" Hunter asked, drifting away from the end of the sentence, being careful not to give away any information.

"Yes, I do." Dean replied, not knowing what he was going to say next.

"So, what exactly do you wanna talk about? There's not exactly much we can do to help him." Hunter sighed, wishing he had formed a better connection with his figurative son.

"Well, we could bury the hatchet between us, we don't have to become best friends but we could at least act nice towards each other when he's around." Dean suggested. "He just needs people to be there for him during this emotional time, and if said people are going to be fighting all the time then it's not gonna do him any good."

"Yeah, you're right Ambrose. I suppose we can make the deal, for Seth at least." 

"Well, I'm glad you agreed. He's got another session of chemo today, asked me to go with him. Do you mind if I take the night off so that I can stay with him?" Dean asked, worried that Hunter might say no.

"Okay, but only cause you're helping him. Look after my boy, you'll probably do a better job than I did." The older man sighed, for the hundredth time.

"Maybe you should talk to him and form a closer bond, I'm sure he wouldn't be against it."

"Yeah, maybe I should. Anyway, you should get going. Let me know how the chemo goes, alright?" Hunter said, his brain thinking about the worst possible scenarios that could happen to Seth.

"I will do, see ya later." Dean replied, standing up out of his chair, only to be interrupted by someone walking through the door.

"Hey Hunter, have you seen De-" Seth stopped abruptly, seeing the two men stood in the room together. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? What about you? You're supposed to be at the hotel." Dean said, instantly regretting the tone of voice that he used.

"So are you!" Seth said angrily. "Wait a minute, you guys were talking about me weren't you?"

The younger man seemed to be angered by the fact that two people were discussing his private business, without his permission. 

"Seth, it's not-"

"Why are you discussing my personal business? It's not exactly something I want to be thrown around!"

"Look, I know but-" Dean paused his sentence once he caught a glimpse of Seth's swaying body. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Y-yeah, I just-" Seth's eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body began to fall to the floor. Dean rushed over to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Is he alright?" Hunter asked, completely freaking out about what had happened. He had never seen anything like that happen to Seth, during his time of sickness.

"Call an ambulance or something." Dean said calmly, but was panicking on the inside. If this was just Seth fainting then it wouldn't be bad, but the fact that he had cancer gave Dean every reason to worry.

"Alright, I'm calling them now."

Just at that moment, someone else decided to walk in the room.

"What's going on in here?" The person, also known as Roman, asked, looking rather confused to see Dean, Seth and Hunter together in the same room.

"Look, I'll explain later Rome, but right now isn't a good time. Could you go get one of the trainers please?" Dean asked, hoping that his friend would ignore the strange circumstance and do what he was told.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Roman replied, too confused to question it.

"The ambulance is on it's way." Hunter said, sighing.

"Ambulance? How bad is it?" Roman asked, suddenly worried.

"Roman, just get a trainer!" Dean shouted. Now was not the time for questions.

Roman rushed out of the room and did as he was told. So many thoughts were rushing through his head, and he knew that he had to get answers. Why was Seth passed out in Dean's arms? That just wasn't a normal thing to walk in on. 

__________

A few hours passed and Seth was lying asleep in a hospital bed, attached to many tubes and wires. Dean was sat in the room, calmly taking in the situation. It wasn't anything too serious, Seth's body had just shut down from too much stress.

Hunter stayed at the arena in order to run the nights show, but Roman followed the ambulance to the hospital, looking for answers.

"So, what's up with Seth?" Roman questioned, as he entered the room, arms folded.

Dean sighed, unsure of what to tell his friend. Seth didn't want him to know just yet, but there was no point in lying anymore. Roman knew something was wrong and he was stubborn. He wouldn't leave until he knew what was going on.

"He's really sick at the moment." Dean replied, still trying to keep it secretive.

"Dean, just tell me what's really going on. I want to help him." Roman pleaded, his brotherly love for Seth was quickly returning the more he saw him lying in the hospital bed.

"Well, he is sick. Dean replied. "He's got an illness, a disease."

"What is it?" Roman asked, starting to become even more concerned than before.

"Cancer." Dean replied, his voice breaking half way through the toxic word.

Roman didn't say anything after that. Instead, he looked for the closest chair and sat on it, putting his head in his hands and sighing. He couldn't believe that this was happening. After everything that had happened, Seth was still family to both Roman and Dean, and seeing him like this broke their hearts.

Seth's chemotherapy session was delayed to the week after, since his body was too weak to deal with it.


	7. Dying is your latest fashion - Part 7

"How long does it take to get your chemo done?" Dean asked, as the two men prepared for Seth to have his treatment. Seth had been given time to recover after his black out and had stayed in hospital over night, with Dean by his side.

"It usually takes up to two hours." Seth replied, his stomach churning from worry. He hated having the treatment, but he knew there was no way out of it. For starters, he was already at the hospital and it didn't help that Dean wouldn't leave him alone. 

During the past month, all Seth really wanted was to have some company, but now that he's got it he's decided that it's not all that great. He feels too overcrowded. He just needs some time to himself to think about everything that's happening.

"Alright, do you wanna grab a bite to eat first? Keep your strength up?" Dean suggested, feeling slightly awkward sat next to his upset friend.

"No thanks, I don't think I can hold it down." Seth mumbled back, just wanting to have some peace and quiet.

"Okay, well I'm gonna get myself a coffee and maybe even a slice of cake. Are you sure you're not interested?" Dean said, trying to tempt the younger man.

Seth didn't reply. Instead he watched Dean walk out the room. A huge weight lifted off of his shoulders, only to be crushed back onto them when a certain person walked into the room.

"Hey." Roman said, trying to sound as friendly as possible. Seth had no clue that Roman knew about his 'illness' so he was rather confused as to why the older man was in the room with him. "How're you holding up?"

"I'm fine." Seth sighed, sounding annoyed. "Why're you here?"

"Uh well, I saw you at work when you passed out, and then Dean told me about what's been going on." Roman replied, hesitantly.

"Dean told you?" Seth shouted out, utterly disgusted that his friend would do that to him and shocked that he would ever even think about breaking their promise.

"Look Seth, don't get mad about it. I'm only here to help you." Roman tried to argue, in a kind way.

"Well your help isn't needed. Bye." 

"Seth, I'm not leaving. Not until we've talked about this. I just want to make sure that you're comfortable with me helping you out. We're all friends, it's not like I'm gonna go and blurt it out to the media."

"Yeah, well Dean said he wouldn't tell anyone, but he told you." Seth replied, rudely. "Oh well, I'm gonna die anyway so who cares?" He sighed. "You're forgiven."

"Forgiven? What did I do?" Roman laughed at Seth's lame attitude, he'd missed it.

"I don't know, but I'm sick so just deal with it."

"Whatever." Roman sighed. "I'll see you around, good luck with the chemo."

"Yeah, see ya." Seth replied, happy to finally have a moments rest.

Dean sat by Seth's side whilst he was getting his treatment a few hours later. The two men bonded a lot during the small amount of time they spent together, it helped to keep Seth's mind off the pain. Once the chemo was over, the two men made their way back to the hotel.

"Y'know something Seth?" Dean asked, lying down next to the younger man.

"What?" Seth replied, wondering what rubbish would come out of Dean's mouth.

"I really like you." Dean said, making Seth laugh.

"That was so random, I like you too dumb ass." Seth replied, trying to think why Dean would say something like that.

"No, I mean that I really like you." Dean stressed, leaning up slightly.

"Well, we we're best friends. The feelings mutual."

"No you don't get it." Dean groaned. "I like you a lot, more than a friend."

The room went silent. Seth was shocked to say the least, they had only just became friends again after the betrayal and now Dean was coming out with this bombshell. Seth thought for a minute for different reasons of why Dean might say something as stupid as that.

"Is it because I'm dying?" Seth asked, hoping that it wasn't, because he didn't need anyone's pity. Especially Dean's.

"What? Of course it isn't!" Dean snapped back. "Why would you even think that?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because I am dying?" Seth shot back, with a lot of unneeded attitude. "Why would you like me anyway?"

"I don't know why. I just do! Why can't you accept that?" Dean seemed to be really upset.

"Cause there's a lot going on right now and I can't deal with anything else." Seth said, broken.

"Look, I'm sorry that I just blurted it out like that, but you have to stop ignoring your future. You're not gonna die Seth." Dean said, getting up to leave the room. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see ya." Seth replied, wiping away a stray tear.


	8. The chapter with no name - Part 8

Seth found it very hard to sleep that night. After Dean left the room, Seth recalled their explosive conversation. The guilt ate him up from the inside. He felt horrible for rejecting Dean like that, but he didn’t know what else to do. How could Dean love him? Especially at a time like this. Seth was a wreck to put it straight. His hair was falling out, he was weak, sweaty, moody, and he was technically dying. 

It’s hard to accept someone else’s love when you know you’ll be six feet under within a few months. The chemo was a waste of time, and Seth didn’t see any point in taking his tablets. It was too late to be saved. This was his punishment for all the bad things he had done. Karma.

Luckily, for Seth, he was being discharged from the hospital today, so he wouldn’t have to worry about being watched and monitored 24/7. Sometimes a dying man needs his peace.

It was at that moment when Dean decided to walk into the room.

“Morning.” Dean said, not looking very pleased to see Seth. The weaker man didn’t bother to greet him back. 

“What are you doing here?” Seth asked, rudely.

“The doctors wanted someone to drive you home, so I volunteered.” Dean replied. “I know you don’t want me here, but I’m just trying to help.” 

“Yeah, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Can we just go now?” Seth asked, excited to finally get out of the hospital.

“Yeah, I’ll sign you out now.”

“Thanks.”

Dean left the room and signed all of Seth’s papers. He was also given a case full of emergency shots, which would raise his white blood levels if he passed out again.  
The two men drove over to the hotel in silence. It was tense between them after their conversation yesterday. Seth couldn’t believe that Dean liked him. And Dean couldn’t believe that Seth was set on dying. They both needed to talk.

Dean walked his friend back to his room and turned to leave, until he felt a hand gently caress his own.

“Do you wanna come in?” Seth asked quietly, not quite believing that he was doing this. “I think we should talk.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Dean replied, following the younger man into his hotel room. They both sat down on the sofa, Seth relieved to be out of the hospital.

“So.” Dean started. “Have you thought about what happened yesterday?”

“Not really.” Seth sighed. “I just don’t understand why you would like me like that. I was horrible to you and Roman, and now that I’ve got caner you two wanna be in my life again.   
It just seems like pity.”

“Seth, I’ve liked you like that for a long time. I was gonna ask you out after WrestleMania 30, but then I freaked out. I wanted to try and ask you again, but then you left us and I let my anger take over. I hid all of my feelings for you.” Dean said, desperate for Seth to hear his words.

“Have you really like me for that long?” Seth asked, feeling guilty for never noticing.

“Yeah, I have.”

“But, what do you like about me?” Seth was still finding it very hard to understand why anyone would like him.

“Well, you have an amazing personality, and you never fail to make me laugh. I always wanna be around you, even after you betrayed me and Rome. I just wanted you to come back.” Dean smiled.

“It’s just weird that someone likes me.” Seth laughed. “I’ve never had that kind of attention before.”

“Well, I’ll just have to give you extra attention then.” Dean said, smiling and scooting over to Seth’s side, so that their arms were touching. He then placed his head on Seth’s shoulder. “So, what do you say?” 

“What do you mean?” Seth asked, suddenly caught off guard by Dean’s movements and question. 

“I mean, do you wanna go out with me?” Dean asked, hoping for a yes, but also preparing for a no.

“I want to, I really do! But what’s the point? I’ll be dead in a few months and you would have just wasted your time.” Seth said, annoyed.

“Don’t be stupid. Even if you die, which you won’t, but if you do I’ll still love you.” Dean said, losing all hope.

“Okay.” Seth sighed.

“What?”

“I said okay, didn’t I? I’ll go out with you.” 

“Well, thank you.” Dean smiled.

“You’re welcome.” Seth replied, both men laughing.

Dean left soon after, happy about how their conversation turned out. He was glad to have his best friend back again, plus he was also rather happy about the perks of having Seth Rollins as his boyfriend. He was a god, stunning to look at, and his personality was everything Dean wanted in a guy and more. It’s safe to say he was looking forward to their future together.

Seth on the other hand, didn’t think the future would be all that good, since he had constant visions of dying. But he was over the moon for the time being with his new found relationship.

Seth went to sleep with a smile on his face and for once he dreamt peacefully. 

Morning came quickly and Seth opened his eyes to see that the sun was shining through his hotel window. His mood instantly rose to a state of excitement for the day ahead of him. That is until he sat up and saw the mess of hair that still rested on his pillow. Seth raised a hand to the back of his head and felt a bold spot dead centre, in the middle of his scalp. It was going to be impossible to hide, and the thought of people seeing how disgusting he currently was, caused him to break down.  
He instantly started to sob, tears streaming down his cheeks as he grabbed chunks of his weak hair, and pulled them out. It was killing him from the inside out. Why did he have to go through this? It wasn’t fair. To Seth, losing his hair was the most humiliating thing that could happen to him. That was his style, his persona. And now it was quickly disappearing, along with his small hope of survival. 

It was all becoming a bit too much for the young, vulnerable man. He didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Seth spent the next two hours sat on the hotel floor, begging death to come sooner.


	9. Back To Black - Part 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this part is really short, but the next part is gonna be extra long (since it's the last chapter) and I was just wondering, do you want Seth to die or survive? Thanks for reading!

Seth's breakdown had left him exhausted, but with a day of work ahead of him he had no choice but to get up and get over it. There wasn't much sympathy in the wrestling industry, and worrying over your hair falling out won't get you anything. Seth quickly collected his thoughts, showered, dressed and headed over to the arena. He made sure to put a hat on before he left.

There were the usual stares from his co-workers when he entered the locker room, but he once again chose to ignore them. He really wasn't in the mood for taking today. Seth started to get changed into his ring gear, when Dean walked into the room. His stomach dropped. Now he'd have to pretend that he was one hundred percent okay.

"Hey man, what's up?" Dean asked, nudging his arm slightly.

"Not much." Seth replied, shortly. Dean noticed the change in attitude instantly.

"You feeling alright, you seem a bit off today." Dean mentioned. Seth looked around the room to make sure no one was looking at them. He hoped that he was speaking quietly enough.

"I'm not feeling too good. Had a bad morning." Seth replied.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"It's-" Seth took a deep breath. "My hair."

"Oh" Dean said, understanding what Seth meant. He felt bad for the younger man. It must be so hard for him to lose a part of himself. "It'll be alright. Hair grows back."

"Yeah, but it's embarrassing." Seth sighed, starting to feel a little dizzy. The room started to spin, and Seth's body began to sway.

"Hey, you alright man?" Dean asked, sensing that something was wrong.

"I really don't feel good." Seth said panicking. It was at that moment when he was falling backwards, slow motion, into Dean's arms that he realized he hadn't taken his medication that morning.

Everything went black.

__________

"Shit!" Dean said, catching Seth's falling frame in his arms. "Seth? Seth can you hear me?"

No answer.

"Is he alright?" Becky Lynch asked, running over to the scene.

"What happened?" Big Show asked, not knowing why the smaller man had passed out so suddenly.

"I'll explain later, Becky can you get my bag for me please?" Dean asked, remembering the emergency shot that the doctor had given him. "Stupid idiot forgot to take his medication." He murmured to himself.

"Here you go." Becky said, handing Dean his bag.

Dean unzipped it and grabbed the wrapper that had the shot in. He opened it with his teeth and quickly found a vein on Seth's thigh to inject the needle into. Once the medication had entered his system, Seth began to stir a little bit. More superstars entered the locker room in shock.

"Is he alright?" Roman asked, running in.

"Yeah he'll be fine. Can you call an ambulance though?" Dean replied,

"Yeah, sure thing."

Seth arrived at the hospital, and the doctors told him that he would be fine. They also gave him a firm warning that he needed to take his medication everyday, because if he didn't have it then there was a chance that the chemo wouldn't work.

Seth didn't seem to be phased by this. He had already given up. It wasn't til Dean came into the room, fuming, that Seth realized the severity of it all.

"What were you thinking?" Dean shouted, furious that Seth didn't take his medication. "You could have died! What would I have done if you were dead right now, huh?"

"I-I don't know." Seth replied quietly, trying to hold in his tears.

"You're an idiot! You living is the most important thing in the world right now, and you almost ruined that." Dean said. He started the sentence off angrily, but by the end of it he was in tears. 

"I- I'm s-sorry." Seth whimpered through tears. Dean sighed, he was being a bit harsh on the younger man.

"I know you are, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was just sacred." Dean replied. "Let's go back to the hotel."

"Yeah, I'd like that."


	10. Life on the other side - Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, sorry for not updating but I can't seem to focus on this fanfic. I've struggled a lot with writing this, which is why the chapters were so short and spaced out. I think I'll stick to one-shots from now on. I've written a small epilogue for this story, so this is the end I'm afraid. Thank you to everyone who has read, put kudos and commented on this story and sorry once again for never updating.

A month had passed since Seth's incident with his medication, but since that day he hadn't missed one tablet. Dean made sure that Seth kept on top of everything and helped him to scheduled all of his medication and doctors appointments. Everything seemed to be going on track, and even though Seth wasn't clean, he was feeling better than ever.

His self-confidence had grown over the past month, and luckily for him he didn't lose all of his hair, however it was a lot shorter and thinner than before. Since life was so hectic for Seth, with all of the hospital and doctors appointments, he decided that it would be best to leave work for a few months. It was the only way to get the rest he needed when he wasn't enduring another draining chemotherapy session.

Seth had improved a lot though, and the doctors even lowered his medication dosage and said that in another months time they would stop the chemo and start doing radiation therapy to kill off the last of the cells. It was estimated that Seth would be cancer free within the next 6 months.

With all of the appointments going on, Seth didn't get to see much of Dean, but when he did they made sure to make their time together extra special. 

Cancer was most definitely the worst thing that had happened to Seth in his life, but at least it helped him to truly appreciate himself and his body. It also gave him a reason to make up with Dean and Roman, which was one of the reasons Seth was happy something so dramatic had happened to him. In a few months he would be better, and he could focus on his friends, family, career, and most importantly the love of his life. Dean Ambrose.

The End.


End file.
